Reaching Up

      Learning to

   REACH UP 

                                                                                                   

                                 

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I caught myself in a conversation the other day saying “yeah....I think this song has saved my life.” Haha. It might sound strange…but I really do believe it. I believe in the power of music, the remedial process of songwriting, and most importantly the message that is in this particular song I wrote called “Reach Up.” It is my first faith based, inspirational song which is why I thought I’d attempt to write and share my experience and testimony. After all, if this song “saved my life”, I figured it’s worth documenting.

Part of the story started with not a “little tender mercy” but in my heart… a “big tender mercy” that occurred one day. One particular morning I was in a really dark place. I truly felt my world was falling apart at the time. I had never felt more helpless, hopeless, confused, discouraged and completely heart broken in my life. I felt what I was going through, was the hardest thing I have ever gone through before. Right before I started my drive to school for the day I said a prayer (I think I broke my record for the amount of prayers I said that week) asking for help to make it through the day. Right when I opened my eyes before I started driving, I received a text message from my friend, role model, and spiritual hero Calee Reed. Some may know, but Calee Reed is a Deseret book inspirational music artist and speaker. Calee and I became good friends after a conference I put together I and have kept in touch ever since. She is AMAZING…. I love and admire her so much. (If you ever get a chance to hear her speak or listen to her music, I truly encourage it.)  She knew I was going through a hard time and right then sent me a message saying “Hey <3 This is a track from my new album (shhhh) that is making me think of you today.” She sent me a drop box link to her unreleased song called “Cleanse You” (it is now available on her album Believer, so everyone can go listen.) I turned it on in my car so I could listen on my way to school.  As cliché’s as it might sound I immediately felt every word was written for me. That song not only helped me through that day but I credit her song as well for helping me throughout my difficult time. I listened to it every day countless times. I will always be grateful for Calee’s friendship, testimony, her musical talents she shares, and her listening to a prompting to text me that day. The album didn’t come out until about two months later and I feel like I wouldn’t have known what to do without the peace that beautiful and truthful song brought me.

 Because of the impact Calee’s song and other Christian, inspirational music has had on me particularly during that time. I had the desire to write my spiritual thoughts into a song as well. When I first had this idea,  I was still struggling and wasn’t sure what exactly to say or if I was in a place to do this. That next Sunday I was sitting in a relief society lesson during church which became another part of my healing process and inspiration for writing this song. I so badly desired to feel closer to God and receive more guidance and peace. I was trying hard to listen to the lesson, but found my mind wandering back off to my problems instead of focusing. Thankfully, one slide of the teacher’s power point caught my attention.

The power point read “how can we gain more access to God’s help in our life?” Right then I sat up straight in my seat anticipating the answer.  The next slide told us to look up the scripture Luke 17:5. I quickly looked up the scripture. I was ready for an answer but I was not expecting this answer. It reads “And the apostle said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.” That was it? That was the whole scripture and supposedly the answer to the initial question I so readily awaited? At first this answer felt unexpected and disappointing. Increase my faith…? Three simple words just like that? I had already heard this concept over a million times and I didn’t feel that this primary answer could help me. But then I paused and reflected for a minute. How much faith was I truly having right now? I may have heard this concept before, but was I remembering what faith truly was? Was I actually applying this principle in my life through my trial? The truthful answer was no. At least not enough. As simple and silly as it seems even writing this….all of a sudden it hit me. I told myself “Okay Katelyn, now YOU have to do something.” All of a sudden this “primary answer” I received in Relief Society (that I didn’t want to hear at first) wasn’t so primary anymore. It became the most profound answer. It was what I needed to hear, and ultimately the inspiration behind the song I wrote. I started to better see God’s hand in my life and realized I had to reach up my hand to his as well. This is why the title and hook line of the song became “Reach up”.  I know it’s a very simple concept, but it was a life changing reminder I really needed. From then on, I promised myself to better act in faith. Not just wish or want or wait for God’s will to reveal itself, but to be a better believer and do what I could personally.

Neil A. Anderson summarizes my thoughts saying "Drawing the Savior's power into our lives requires us to reach up to Him in Faith. Such reading requires diligent, focused effort. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought. But when we do, our doubts and fears flee."

I know these words are true and wanted my song to echo this message. As I started writing this song based on these beliefs, another meaningful experience begun.

I actually write songs quite often but I had never written a “church” song before so this was a new concept for me. I initially thought it might be difficult to do this…I didn’t want it to sound preachy or cheesy and I know people feel the spirit differently so I wasn’t sure if I could come up with a song that would resonate with anyone let alone myself. “Reach up, reach up, reach up!” I just kept thinking to myself. I continued to have that visual of me reaching for God’s hand and I knew I wanted to write about that thought. I questioned if I could do it, but surprisingly, it transpired in about twenty to thirty minutes. Before I knew it the song was finished. It was unlike past songs I’ve written in the sense when I look back on it, I didn’t think “oh that’s clever, or witty, or rhymes nice. I just thought…well there’s my testimony,” so that was that haha. Although it was a short process, I loved every moment of combining my faith and testimony with my passion for music and writing.


The lyrics to the song read:

I’ve fallen to my knees more times than I can count 

Crying up for help uttering my doubts 

Why don’t you see why don’t you care 

Father why did you lead me here, just to leave me? Did you leave me? 

I’ve cried in anger I’ve cried out in wrath 

With great frustration to this meandering path 

Where is the way? Where do I go? 

What’s the purpose? Do you know? 

If you do...why aren’t you telling me? 

Chorus: 

There might have been something to add in my prayers 

Answers are further seen when faith is there 

God wants to hear my every plea 

But how can he lead 

With out more faith what can align?

I had to reach up my hand because his was already reaching for mine

I wanted answers I wanted them then 

Is that faith if it’s already given? 

Faith isn’t by chance it’s by choice 

We listen more to his voice more intently 

when we don’t know the answers

Repeat Chorus:

Faith without works is dead being alone 

Reach up your hand, he’ll carry you home 

Through every peak and valley in between 

Reach up your hand, for miracles will be seen 

Reach up reach up

Reach up your hand he’s reaching down for ours every time 

After it was completed I found an amazing producer named Greg Hansen to help me arrange the music. This was another special process and experience. Every week I delighted coming into the studio. It always gave me something to look forward to despite the hard time I was still facing. My problem didn’t go away after the relief society lesson…just my approach to things. “Reaching Up” was a continual process day by day that I had to persistently strive for. Going into the studio not only gave me something to look forward to, but going over the lyrics reminded me of the message I knew to be true but at times failed to remember. Even my mom would text me when she knew I was having a hard day and say “Remember the words to your song honey…. Reach up! Reach up! Reach up! Don’t forget to reach up.” Ha-ha…sometimes I found humor in the fact my own mom would have to remind me of lyrics I wrote but it was a good lesson that acting in faith is a continual process.

A couple months later and the song is finally completed. I don’t know if it will impact anyone the way Calee’s song impacted me, or illuminate the same message I so urgently needed that Sunday, but I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony through music, writing and the experience that lead me here in the first place. It invigorated me to reach up more intently than I ever had before. Despite the heart break, the feelings of darkness, heartache, and sorrow… I have never felt closer to my Savior.  And for that…it has been worth it.

Our beloved prophet has said “When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with that same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours.”

–Russell M. Nelson

I testify these words are true. I know and am eternally grateful for the power and hand of our Lord and Heavenly Father in our lives throughout our journey. He loves us, he is aware of us, and is “reaching down for our hand every time.”

In a Gentle Way You Can Shake The World

Have you ever gazed at the trillions of stars above your head or looked out at the endless horizon? Sometimes simple moments like this can make us feel so small in this big world.

One time I particularly felt this was when my family visited my grandparents on their LDS church mission in Nairobi, Kenya.

One particular moment I remember from the trip was on a drive we took around the city. We were on our way to visit the orphanage and the van stopped on the side of a hill.

We looked out our window to see miles and miles of slums where there was shacks and sheds for as far as the eye could see.

We sat in awe as we watched thousands of people before our eyes living in unimaginable circumstances. The sight was horrifying.

Seeing so many children without shoes and people with skeleton like bodies hurt my heart.

This wasn’t how I expected to feel.

I had been anticipating this trip for months, with the mentality of “I’m Katelyn and I will save the world,” thinking I could become the new Mother Teresa.

But once I arrived my emotions were quite different.

I didn’t feel inspired to help, I felt helpless.

There were countless in need yet I was just one person.

What could I possibly do that could make a difference?

I pondered this question and expressed my feelings to my family. My Grandma revealed she too, often times, felt like this on her mission. Yet, she reminded me of a story that she kept close to her heart while she served.

The story of the Starfish.

“One day an old man was walking along the beach after a storm. Thousands and thousands of starfish were washed ashore. Further along he saw young women, walking slowly and stopping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean. “Young lady, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” He asked. “Because the sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don’t throw them further in, they will die.”  She replied. “But young lady, do you not realize there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly save them all; in fact you can’t even save one-tenth of them if you tried. Even if you work all day, your efforts won’t make any difference at all.” The young woman listened politely, then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea. “Yes, but I made a difference to that one.”

~Adapted from the original story by Loren Eiseley

After my grandma told me this story, I looked out the window again and saw these people as my own starfish. Maybe I wouldn’t be able help all those Kenyan people and as truly heart aching as that was for me to accept, maybe, just maybe my efforts would still be enough and would be worth it. After all, our Father in Heaven doesn’t ask us to do everything but he does ask us to do something. If we all did a little something, just like the young woman in this story, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

Everyone’s part may be small but it does make a difference and together it is a miraculous work.

1 Nephi 16:29 says

“Thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things.” 

I love this scripture because often times I feel we get discouraged by such trivial things and fail to see the great things we are capable of doing.

These words remind us if we all do our part and act in our own small sphere, the Lord can accomplish miracles through each one of us.

Whether our small sphere is serving a mission, taking a humanitarian trip, fulfilling your church calling or everyday roles…YOU have the ability to influence the world in which you live.

As Buckminister Fuller said:

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. One person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person. ” 

Hear that? Be that one person. Just as many people in our lives are the “one person” for us, we can be that for others.

Look at our moms, dads, teachers, friends, role models, and even strangers whose actions and example has influenced each of us. These people are not of fortune of fame but yet the need for their individuality is apparent throughout our everyday lives.

Yet, what if they too disbelieved in their ability to make difference?

Often times we are the starfish that need to be saved and a friend’s loyalty, parent’s advice, teacher’s example, or a stranger’s compliment can make all the difference in the world.

Don’t we all have people in our life that “save” us?

Then why do we doubt our ability to save others?

Do not doubt yourself and do not feel how I felt at the beginning of my Kenyan trip, because no matter how devastating life’s problems seem to be, the biggest mistake we can make by becoming overwhelmed is to do nothing.

As Edward Everett Hale said:

“I am only one but I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

Because what you can do does make a difference

and that difference changes the world.

There are people you’ll come across in your life that desperately need you.

So go change the world one starfish at a time.

Much love always,

Xoxo  Katelyn

Never and Always

Because it's the new year I decided to write a post on an awful, inconvenient, unpredictable, intimidating word called…CHANGE.

Some changes are exciting like when the leaves change color in the fall or when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.

Most changes however, aren't as welcomed, simple or beautiful as those especially when they affect us directly. 

Change has not only been on my mind since the start of 2015 but has felt like the theme of my whole last year.

A year ago I made the decision to move across the country alone to Orlando, Florida as part of the Disney Internship Program.  That in itself was a life changing experience but it wasn’t until I got back that I realized how fast life passes.

Once I returned, everything was different. I was only gone six months but in the college world of Provo, Utah that can translate in to a lifetime of changes.

When I got back I had best friends engaged, married, left on missions, or moved away.  My world seemed to have done a back flip and turned inside out.  The worst part was I didn’t know what to think or do about it.

I missed so much of what used to be and I tried to be optimistic about the future but I felt like I was betraying my old life if I was content with starting a new chapter.

I remember one specific day all these feelings resulted with a phone call in tears to my mom.  She listened sympathetically and then said something that I haven’t forgotten.  “ Well honey, the one thing in life that doesn’t change…is change.”

I repeated that line in my head over and over again.

It was the most inconvenient truth I’ve ever heard.

It was something I didn’t particularly want to hear but once I did I realized something, life is about change and there is no way around it.

I guess I already knew this but it seemed impossible to grasp.  I had this mistaken belief that after each time a change occurred in my life, I was exempt from any other changes in the future.

Instead, right when I get comfortable, my world starts shaking and this happens over and OVER again. It's a frightening concept I have always struggled with.

Children grow up, families move, buildings get torn down, loved ones pass away; nothing ever has or ever will stay the same. Is there anything we can count on?

The scriptures remind us there is ONE thing that is infinite, something that is unlike the rest and that is our Father in Heaven. 

Malachi 3:6 says, “For I the Lord do not change.”
Finally, something we can rely on and turn to.

It might seem like a concept we already know, but I feel like we forget this too often, especially in times of change and uncertainty.
D&C 3:2 says "For God...neither doth he vary."
These versus mean that even if you are across the world, your friends change, or you loose your health and your life becomes unrecognizable, you can still pray to the SAME God who has always loved you and always will. 

Change will NEVER change but God will ALWAYS stay the same.

His love, presence, and eternal truths are endless, and he is also a constant that allows us to use change for our own good. 

However, if you are anything like me, you're blinded when it comes to seeing the bigger picture.

It reminds me of a visual analogy C.S Lewis shares:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace”

So what aspects of our lives is our Father in Heaven reconstructing?  Like I mentioned, I’ve had quite a bit of reconstructing in my life lately but it helps to remember God designed our lives and each of us to be ever changing.  Although our vision is limited to the exquisiteness of it all, Gods constructions turn our lives into palaces.

So maybe the changes we undertake aren’t as easy as watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly but maybe they ARE just as beautiful.

Maybe my mom was right, nothing ever stays the same but there is  one exception. 

He is our Father in Heaven and he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I may not know what is ahead for you or for me but I do know

God will ALWAYS be there and he will ALWAYS love us.

That my friends, will never EVER change.

Xoxo

Kate