Learning to
REACH UP
Listen to song here:
I caught myself in a conversation the other day saying “yeah....I think this song has saved my life.” Haha. It might sound strange…but I really do believe it. I believe in the power of music, the remedial process of songwriting, and most importantly the message that is in this particular song I wrote called “Reach Up.” It is my first faith based, inspirational song which is why I thought I’d attempt to write and share my experience and testimony. After all, if this song “saved my life”, I figured it’s worth documenting.
Part of the story started with not a “little tender mercy” but in my heart… a “big tender mercy” that occurred one day. One particular morning I was in a really dark place. I truly felt
my world was falling apart at the time. I had never felt more helpless, hopeless,
confused, discouraged and completely heart broken in my life. I felt what I was
going through, was the hardest thing I have ever gone through before. Right
before I started my drive to school for the day I said a prayer (I think I
broke my record for the amount of prayers I said that week) asking for help to
make it through the day. Right when I opened my eyes before I started driving,
I received a text message from my friend, role model, and spiritual hero Calee
Reed. Some may know, but Calee Reed is a Deseret book inspirational music
artist and speaker. Calee and I became good friends after a conference I put
together I and have kept in touch ever since. She is AMAZING…. I love and
admire her so much. (If you ever get a chance to hear her speak or listen to
her music, I truly encourage it.) She
knew I was going through a hard time and right then sent me a message saying “Hey <3 This is a track from my new album
(shhhh) that is making me think of you today.” She sent me a drop box link
to her unreleased song called “Cleanse
You” (it is now available on her album Believer, so everyone can go
listen.) I turned it on in my car so I could listen on my way to school. As cliché’s as it might sound I immediately felt
every word was written for me. That song not only helped me through that day but
I credit her song as well for helping me throughout my difficult time. I
listened to it every day countless times. I will always be grateful for Calee’s
friendship, testimony, her musical talents she shares, and her listening to a
prompting to text me that day. The album didn’t come out until about two months
later and I feel like I wouldn’t have known what to do without the peace that
beautiful and truthful song brought me.
Because of the impact Calee’s song and
other Christian, inspirational music has had on me particularly during that
time. I had the desire to write my spiritual thoughts into a song as well. When I first had this idea, I was still struggling and wasn’t sure what
exactly to say or if I was in a place to do this. That next Sunday I was
sitting in a relief society lesson during church which became another part of
my healing process and inspiration for writing this song. I so badly desired to
feel closer to God and receive more guidance and peace. I was trying hard to listen to the lesson, but found my mind
wandering back off to my problems instead of focusing. Thankfully, one slide of
the teacher’s power point caught my attention.
The power point read “how can we
gain more access to God’s help in our life?” Right then I sat up straight
in my seat anticipating the answer. The
next slide told us to look up the scripture Luke
17:5. I quickly looked up the scripture. I was ready for an answer but I
was not expecting this answer. It reads “And the apostle said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.” That was it? That was the whole scripture and supposedly
the answer to the initial question I so readily awaited? At first this answer
felt unexpected and disappointing. Increase my faith…? Three simple words just
like that? I had already heard this concept over a million times and I didn’t
feel that this primary answer could help me. But then I paused and reflected
for a minute. How much faith was I truly
having right now? I may have heard this concept before, but was I remembering
what faith truly was? Was I actually applying this principle in my life through
my trial? The truthful answer was no. At least not enough. As simple and silly as it seems even writing this….all of a sudden
it hit me. I told myself “Okay Katelyn, now YOU have to do something.” All of a
sudden this “primary answer” I received in Relief Society (that I didn’t want
to hear at first) wasn’t so primary anymore. It became the most profound answer.
It was what I needed to hear, and ultimately the inspiration behind the song I
wrote. I started to better see God’s hand in my life and realized I had to
reach up my hand to his as well. This
is why the title and hook line of the song became “Reach up”. I know it’s a
very simple concept, but it was a life changing reminder I really needed. From
then on, I promised myself to better act in faith. Not just wish or want or wait
for God’s will to reveal itself, but to be a better believer and do what I
could personally.
Neil A. Anderson summarizes my thoughts saying "Drawing the Savior's power into our lives requires us to reach up to Him in Faith. Such reading requires diligent, focused effort. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought. But when we do, our doubts and fears flee."
I know these words are true and wanted my song to echo this
message. As I started writing this song based on these beliefs, another
meaningful experience begun.
I actually write songs quite often but I had never written a
“church” song before so this was a new concept for me. I initially thought it
might be difficult to do this…I didn’t want it to sound preachy or cheesy and I
know people feel the spirit differently so I wasn’t sure if I could come up
with a song that would resonate with anyone let alone myself. “Reach up, reach up, reach up!” I just kept
thinking to myself. I continued to have that visual of me reaching for God’s
hand and I knew I wanted to write about that thought. I questioned if I could
do it, but surprisingly, it transpired in about twenty to thirty minutes. Before
I knew it the song was finished. It was unlike past songs I’ve written in the
sense when I look back on it, I didn’t think “oh that’s clever, or witty, or rhymes nice. I just thought…well there’s
my testimony,” so that was that haha. Although it was a short process, I
loved every moment of combining my faith and testimony with my passion for
music and writing.
The lyrics to the song read:
After it was completed I found an amazing producer named
Greg Hansen to help me arrange the music. This was another special process and
experience. Every week I delighted coming into the studio. It always gave me
something to look forward to despite the hard time I was still facing. My
problem didn’t go away after the relief society lesson…just my approach to
things. “Reaching Up” was a continual
process day by day that I had to persistently strive for. Going into the studio
not only gave me something to look forward to, but going over the lyrics
reminded me of the message I knew to be true but at times failed to remember. Even
my mom would text me when she knew I was having a hard day and say “Remember the words to your song honey….
Reach up! Reach up! Reach up! Don’t forget to reach up.” Ha-ha…sometimes I
found humor in the fact my own mom would have to remind me of lyrics I wrote
but it was a good lesson that acting in faith is a continual process.
The lyrics to the song read:
I’ve fallen to my knees more times than I can count
Crying up for help uttering my doubts
Why don’t you see why don’t you care
Father why did you lead me here, just to leave me? Did you leave me?
I’ve cried in anger I’ve cried out in wrath
With great frustration to this meandering path
Where is the way? Where do I go?
What’s the purpose? Do you know?
If you do...why aren’t you telling me?
Chorus:
There might have been something to add in my prayers
Answers are further seen when faith is there
God wants to hear my every plea
But how can he lead
With out more faith what can align?
I had to reach up my hand because his was already reaching for mine
I wanted answers I wanted them then
Is that faith if it’s already given?
Faith isn’t by chance it’s by choice
We listen more to his voice more intently
when we don’t know the answers
Repeat Chorus:
Faith without works is dead being alone
Reach up your hand, he’ll carry you home
Through every peak and valley in between
Reach up your hand, for miracles will be seen
Reach up reach up
Reach up your hand he’s reaching down for ours every time
A couple months later and the song is finally completed. I don’t know if it will impact anyone the way Calee’s song impacted me, or illuminate the same message I so urgently needed that Sunday, but I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony through music, writing and the experience that lead me here in the first place. It invigorated me to reach up more intently than I ever had before. Despite the heart break, the feelings of darkness, heartache, and sorrow… I have never felt closer to my Savior. And for that…it has been worth it.
Our beloved prophet has said “When you reach up for the Lord’s
power in your life with that same intensity that a drowning person has when
grasping and gasping for air, power from
Jesus Christ will be yours.”
–Russell M. Nelson
I testify these words are true. I know and am
eternally grateful for the power and hand of our Lord and Heavenly Father in
our lives throughout our journey. He loves us, he is aware of us, and is
“reaching down for our hand every time.”
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